I am the Unicorn Wizard, and I hate babies. Inquire within.
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It's gonna be the future soon

humorculus:

DO NOT BRING THIS BACK

(Source: omnistab, via maybeillegal)

dragonjester:

Same

(Source: sandandglass, via kissmywallflower)

  • me: hello darkness my old friend
  • darkness: do i know u

leander-ligo:

lordthundercox:

Yes, it does.

Guys get morning wood because our bladders fill up during the night and begin to press against our prostate, causing arousal. Our dicks don’t just feel the sun coming up and think “My time has come”

(Source: iraffiruse, via samanthaisnotcreative)

pingnova:

final fantasy is like

image

and kingdom hearts

image

(via kreuz-unlimited)

shinjiyoulittleshit:

girls dont like boys, girls like dungeons and dragons

zodiacs w/ sex

thelambdadelta:

aries- gay
taurus - likes anal
gemini - bdsm freak
cancer - vanilla as fuck
leo - dominant
virgo - practicing abstinence
libra - probably a furry
scorpio - S&M by Rihanna
Sagittarius - will try anything
Capricorn - freaky ass bitch
Aquarius - Skeptical but still a slut
Pisces - horny and dtf w/ anyone

(via pastelmodus)

zodiacs w/ sex

thelambdadelta:

aries- gay
taurus - likes anal
gemini - bdsm freak
cancer - vanilla as fuck
leo - dominant
virgo - practicing abstinence
libra - probably a furry
scorpio - S&M by Rihanna
Sagittarius - will try anything
Capricorn - freaky ass bitch
Aquarius - Skeptical but still a slut
Pisces - horny and dtf w/ anyone

(via pastelmodus)

nodamncatnodamncradle:

burningbrooklynbridges:

grown. ass. men.

you scared she gonna strike out yr precious baby boy? OH TOO LATE.

they were doing a special on her on one of the news channels at the gym. i didnt have the headphones so i couldnt hear the story, but one of the photos they showed was of a little girl in the crowd holding up a sign that said “I want to throw like a girl.” For every pathetic, insecure grown man who is threatened by this amazingly talented girl, hopefully there is another little girl who is inspired. But that she has to put up wit this kind of abuse even though she is OBJECTIVELY the best pitcher in the league right now and can throw a ball SEVENTY MILES PER HOUR is absolutely uncalled for. She is truly phenomenal, and those dads can all go eat shit and live

(Source: kingjaffejoffer, via thepageofhopes)

❝ Wait for someone who bumps mouths clumsily with yours cause they’re too busy smiling to kiss you properly. Yeah. Wait for that. ❞

—(via thisisnotmyfairytaleendingg)

(Source: amanda-oaks, via t1psygnostalgic)